A couple of years ago, when visiting my friend, we ran into
an acquaintance of his and he inquired as to how her Christmas had been.
Looking slightly embarrassed she said she had had an awesome Christmas where
she purchased her gifts and placed them under the tree, and on Christmas
morning had opened them all herself. Her Christmas shopping was for herself as
she came from a fractured family. I told her that I admired her greatly because
instead of wallowing in self-pity she took what could have been a very lonely
time and turned it into a little celebration for herself. I also explained to
her that she must never be embarrassed to admit that her family was
dysfunctional, as I think every family is dysfunctional to a degree.
We all just present this rosy facade to the world where as
in reality, petty jealousy, mental illness, sexuality, substance abuse,
gambling and downright nastiness tears families apart. Family fractures know not the boundaries of
money, as the wealthy often have more problems than the poor. The only
difference being that the money is there to preserve the façade of unity and
the pretence of dignity and decorum. The money also means there is more
opportunity to actively conspire and use as leverage to keep everyone exactly
in the place they want them. After all there is always the threat of changing
the will. When there is wealth in a family it all seems to be about getting
more wealth, who is in charge of the wealth, and who uses the wealth to actually
bring down other members of the family. I personally do not understand as there
is often more money than anyone would see in their lifetime so why actively
conspire to make sure others miss out.
Then at Christmas time, they trim their beautifully prepared
tree, fill the table with glorious food and invite ‘the family’ to attend.
Personally I would rather poke myself in the eye with a pencil. I think ‘Keep
your money!’ But also think ‘Leave me alone to lead the life I choose!’ Let’s not keep up the public pretence of the
happy family whilst all the time stabbing certain members in the back. Money
makes strange bedfellows as those who think that it is the universal panacea
put themselves at the mercy of the unscrupulous, and downright illegal, activities
of family members. In doing so, they prove that they themselves are no better
than the matriarch or patriarch who’s devious and questionable dealings keep
the family members exactly where they want them. Oh, and let’s not forget, to
the public this family is worthy of sainthood.
Just because a family is wealthy it does not mean they do
not have trouble with drug abuse. It does not mean that the poor have a
mortgage on gambling addiction. It does not mean they are angels when it comes
to domestic violence and it sure as hell does not mean they have happy
children. It simply means that they are better placed to hide it, they are able
to buy their way out of trouble, put undue influence on those in high places to
have charges dropped and sweep the whole lot under the carpet.
There are many wealthy families worldwide that are shattered
beyond repair. We look at their public persona in wonder and envy and think ‘If
only!’ Do not envy them! They may have
material possessions beyond compare but how many of their children crave the
touch of a simple Mum that loves her children beyond all else. A few years ago
the results of a survey of Sydney teenagers surprised everyone. It this
materialistic world when they were asked what they would like above all else, they
chose ‘To spend more time with their mother.’ So while these wealthy children
appear to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and have a perfectly
trimmed tree with designer gifts underneath, given the choice they would
probably prefer time with their Mum, to play games with her, to be read to and
just truly be cared for, not simply provided for!
They say that ‘Money is the root of all evil’ and in my
dealings with a particular group of people I can say for sure that this
statement is almost 100% correct, especially when it comes to their own. To the
world, this benevolent group is generous beyond belief but behind closed doors the
malevolence and the wheeling and dealing would take your breath away. No-one is
safe, and while those in favour now may rest on their laurels and smile at the
demise of others they should forever be on ‘high alert’ because they could well
be next. I do not pretend to understand
how others gain glory and happiness from the misery of others. I simply pray
that Karma will one day come into play and all of those within this group that
have made their way, justifying their disgusting treatment of others for the
glory of money find themselves on the receiving end. We will see how well they
survive then in the face of adversity – not too well I hope!
With the fracturing of poor families, once you decide to get
on with your own life, they basically leave you alone to do your own thing and
let you lead your life the way you choose. There is no threat to hang over your
head. You could say to me that at least money can make a miserable existence a
whole lot more comfortable. However, ultimate money often means ultimate power,
and ultimate power gives ultimate corruption. So, maybe to be poor and to be
allowed to be master of your own destiny, without the fear of ultimate
corruption hanging over your head is a much better alternative.
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