Saturday, 23 August 2014

A New Slant on Life!

Those who actually know me already know by now that I am fairly non-compliant when it comes to most things. If anyone wants me to do something, the very worst thing they can do, is actually tell me that I have to do it. This is the precise moment when I decide that there is no way on Earth that I will be doing whatever it is that they have recommended, decided, or chosen for me to do. Stubborn, -I suppose you could say that.

This obtuse trait is not isolated to tasks and chores. It plays a very large role in my personal health management plan. I have the idea that if I never go to the doctor, then I will never get sick. Stupid I know but, I feel going to the doctor for nothing major will tempt fate. Consequently, I rarely visit the doctor, I just bumble through with my philosophy of  'You will either get better or you will kark it!' It seems to have worked ok so far.

So came a period recently where I was having a lot of trouble with my eyes. I was waking in the night with a headache in my right eye. After, looking at lights to determine whether or not I could see rainbows, their absence indicated to me that I had not developed close angle glaucoma . So, I decided that maybe I simply needed new glasses. Ooooh how long was it since I had been to have my eyes tested?? Quite a while I thought, and yes,
it was close to 5 years. No wonder my glasses were scratched beyond belief.

I was not too keen on heading out to the optometrist as my last pair of glasses proved to be a bit of a marathon effort. I had my eyes tested as per normal. Phew, the script was the same. I chose my frames - robust ones! I am very rough on my glasses and when choosing frames I try to buy 'Mack Truck' ones, as any of lesser quality have little chance of surviving the beating they will get. Off they went to get the lenses fitted. 'No worries' I thought! Same script, and I had previously not had a moments bother adjusting to the graduated lenses. How wrong was I! 'The lenses are made with new technology,' they said! 'Soo good,' they said! 'Disconcerting,' they should have said! My new glasses looked great from the outside in. But, from the inside out - eeeeeek. Everything round, became oval, I could no longer read writing that the previous week I could have read easily. The list goes on but my optometrist is a persistent guy and he said not to accept until I could see perfectly. This took three attempts at getting the lenses right. All was right with the world!

No wonder I was loathe to get my eyes tested again. But, off I went. Once again all was fine until the dreaded new glasses were ready to collect. They looked great! BUT, as soon as I put them on, I knew they were not any good. Once again my round dinner plates are oval, my computer screen, ipad and phone screen are much narrower at the bottom than the top, and anything that should be square is a parallelogram. 'Give it time,' they said. 'Your brain has to adjust' they said. 'Wrong,' I said. However, I still have my glasses and, a bit like my view on life, everything is quite warped. The only thing that appears quite normal are my dear friends who are bent. I have no idea if the glasses can be fixed, but everyone keeps reassuring me that they are far superior lenses made with the latest technology. 'Just give me the old technology,' I say. 'We will adjust the ones you have,' they say. 'How do I see in the mean time,' I say. As a result, my new glasses are still firmly glued to my nose.

Seeing as they are on my nose and appear to be there to stay, I will put a positive spin on my my new glasses. Now that this superior technology has given me a new slant on life, I can move forward without bias when discussing the stupidity of politicians; I can lean towards interests that really tickle my fancy and I can recline in my chair and have a nap if I feel so inclined! 

Take care, as things may not be as they appear!

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